September 18, 2005

This is the post from the Sunday prior to leaving to pick up Marielle.


I realized it was the last time in
church it would just be McKenna and I. I realized there is alot of
last times and it hit me just how much McKenna's life is about to
change. I just hope I can balance both McKenna's and Marielle's needs.
SO both realize just how much they are loved. It made me feel a
little bit sad and happy at the same time.

Tomorrow McKenna has planned a picnic and although she still asks WILL
YOU STILL LOVE ME, in the next sentence she talks about how excited
she is and what she wants to do at the park when Marielle comes home.

I look forward to Gotcha DAY with Marielle yet realize that as I make
a CD of the trip for Marielle, that McKenna also needs a CD of her life up
to this point. SO we sat down together and picked songs for her
special CD. At this point who knows when I well get either made.

Tuesday we celebrate McKenna's birthday and she is so excited to be
seven. But today she also said I don't want to grow up. I reassured
her that I love her and that even with Marielle here we can still have
special times just the two of us. So that is what this week will be
devoted to reassurring McKenna that she is special to, and that if we
ever go back to China she will come with us on that trip.

So I just hope I am up to the job of parenting both of my daughters,
both individuals and both special. One grew under my heart, one grew
in my heart and together, Jason, Marielle, McKenna and I will learn
and grow as we start our lives as a family. I realized GOTCHA day is
the day we receive Marielle BUT family day will the day we arrive home
and step off the plane and I hug both daughters in my arms that day
will be October 13, 2005.

Thanks for letting me ramble and thanks for being a part of this
wonderful journey.

Natalie

PS I am still trying to make both CD's and guess who will help me now. McKenna she knows her way around a computer better than I.